Sometimes we need go on a retreat. Other times, we need to retreat.

The word “retreat” has a few meanings: it can be a refuge or a place of privacy. Or it can mean forced withdrawal.

For several months I chose to retreat into Airstream Bambi and my writing space at home. For the past 12 months, my thoughts centered around putting my parents’ needs before mine. I was a tetherball attached by a thin string. I tried to fly, but always ended up circling back around the pole. I couldn’t proceed forward. While I am not in the “sandwich generation” I felt compressed, when all I wanted was to expand.

During the time when I retreated, I reassessed my current state and visualized my desired state. A quick decision to move my parents closer to family helped me to feel secure again; confident that I’m not in this all alone. I have the support of family nearby in case there is an emergency with Apa.

Now I can get out again.

And this time, instead of being a tetherball, I will be a kite: with more string and flying high above the water.

Photo taken by Deb Miller, South Beach, Miami.