Nothing can be done for the heart.

The only way I can process things is to write it out; to share and connect with others through writing. It helps me to feel at peace when I write.

My Dad’s heart is failing. It has been for many years. In the past 18 months, I’ve seen him fight to stay alive. He exercised, my Mom cooked low-sodium foods, I uprooted them closer to family so they can feel love and support.

All of this helped but his condition, like some things in life, is not reversible.

Apa has been in the hospital for eight days. Yesterday was the worst day. He wanted to leave his broken body and go to a happier place. We requested comfort care: the doctors and nurses will do everything to keep him comfortable before his transition.

Today, the Doc said to me, “We can treat your dad’s coughing, headaches, upset stomach…but nothing can be done about the heart.”

I agree to a certain extent. Apa instilled in me a sense of adventure and courage. And to heal my heart, I will put on my big girl boots and keep moving forward.

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Categories: Elixir

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8 replies »

  1. And if you need a pair of big girl panties to go with those boots, I got ya back girl! this saddens my heart, though while in that same thought I am glad you are with him <3

  2. I understand too well that nothing can be done on a medical level but, on an emotional level, your love and support has surely comforted your father’s heart. And your touching words clearly move the hearts of all your friends who will, to borrow your metaphor, act devotedly and collectively as your shoe horn as you don you big girl boots.

  3. my heart goes out to you yon. this is such a trying time, as i witnessed my husband go through this with his mom earlier this year. i wish you the gift of Presence with each moment. lots of love and peace to you and your family. if you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to let me know. xo

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