I’m sitting in my Aunt’s kitchen. I smell dough rising in the oven and hear bits of conversations floating through the house.

24 hours ago, my Dad left this earth to go onto a new existence. But before that, my Mom and I held his hands for awhile…and eventually, I felt the warmth drain away. Soon, Apa’s face smoothed out and his soul left his body.

I kissed Apa’s head. Something I have never done before but felt so right in that moment. The night before, when Apa knew he was leaving, he told me I was pretty and wanted me to live a happy life.

I will hold onto every word he said that night.

I will remember that he took me on my first hike when I was a little girl.

I will remember he showed me the ocean so I could respect it.

He taught me how to drive when I was sixteen.

He was optimistic about life so I learned to view the world the same way.

His spirit will always be in me. And once his body is cremated, I will scatter his ashes in the mountains and the ocean…places where he felt at home.

Apa, you will always be with me. I am proud to be your daughter.


Categories: Elixir

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11 replies »

  1. The end of life is the birth that we call death. You loved him in this life and he knew that. He loved you in this life, and you know this. This makes me happy.

  2. My sincerest condolences to you and your family at this difficult time. You are living proof that your parents helped make this world a better place, so I too mourn his loss. But I am also inspired by your words and the fact that his positive spirit will always be with you. I love you, send big hugs to you and your mum and salute your noble dad. Although I didn’t have the skills to converse with him properly during our brief encounters, I still could tell that he was, rightfully, proud to be your father

  3. oh sweet yon.
    i am so so so sorry to hear this news…it’s heartbreaking. sending sweet tender hugs and prayers your way during this time of grief and mourning. i hope you’re surrounded by gentleness all around. love to you and your family. 😦

  4. Yon,
    I know this is a sad moment, one that I’ve experienced first hand. But you can be thankful that in those last moments your father knew that he had loved and was loved. What more can we ask from life? As he was a good and loving father you’ve been a good and loving daughter. He was a lucky man.

  5. Yon, I am so sorry for your loss. You had a rich and special bond with your dad and that can never be taken away from you.

  6. Yon, thank you for the wonderful post. I can sense it has been both a challenge and a blessing these last few years and this is a perfect tribute to you, your mom, and your dad on what a wonderful thing family can be and how people can leave an inspiring legacy. What a beautiful post and my prayers and thoughts to you.

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