Butters & Bambi

When I first moved to Santa Barbara, I felt at ease from day one. The temperature was mostly perfect and the sky was almost always blue.

And I had a sense of hope. I was eager to be on my own, to explore and find my way in the sleepy resort town.

Things have been a little different for me in Seattle. In fact, this was my first weekend that I wasn’t unpacking or with guests. It was just me and Butters figuring things out. Come to think of it, this was the first weekend in a couple of years that I didn’t have to worry about anyone else’s needs but my own. For 18 months, my thoughts were centered on my Dad and his failing health.

And this weekend, I became overwhelmed with emotions: sadness, excitement, love, insecurity because I realized it was just me and Butters. Beneath all the emotions, I also feel something I haven’t felt in a very long time. I feel free. I feel free to spend my time and energy exactly how I want to spend it…in a new city filled with possibilities.

Butters by my side, raincoat over my shoulders, I’ll embrace this precious freedom. There are no mandates, no prescriptions or obligations anymore. I can walk down any path that is right for me.